Image: Brooke Cagle
[Bryony Wharfe | Contributing Writer]
Time and time again I read articles or watch movies about female (the human kind) friendships and wonder: “Is that how it’s supposed to be?” Should we be pillow fighting in our underwear and crying over Bridget Jones’ Diary together, whilst being spiteful about someone we barely know? If so, I’ve definitely got it all wrong for the past 22 years of my life.
Since coming to university and growing older, I’ve started hanging out with new people from different backgrounds and you know what? I still haven’t seen Bridget Jones’ Diary, I’ve never taken a trip to Starbucks “with the gurls,” and I actually had to google what catty was as I had no idea (deliberately hurtful in one’s remark, if you didn’t know either).
The truth is, friendships between women aren’t as stereotypical as people may think they are, I’m yet to find a 100 per cent stereotypical group of male or female friends or even one that is solely one gender as some stereotypes say. “I get on a lot easier with males personally, always have done. Girls are hard to talk to I find haha,” says Georgina, a final-year UH student. What do the stereotypes include, you might wonder? Here’s a list of some stereotypes about female friendships I found whilst researching.
Women tell their friends everything about their sex lives
To be honest not really, these private moments are usually, well, private.
And even those who do talk deeply about their fumbling in the bedroom, it’s not with every woman they see or know.
Second-year UH student, Amy Robinson, says: “I only tell my mum about my sex life, which I guess is weird for some aha, but she just ‘gets it’. Most of my other friends don’t have that much sex to talk to them about it.”
They invite each other over for movies and have pillow fights
“I once invited a girl over to watch a movie and she told me she had better things to do with her time,” said Gemma Turner, a first-year student from Kent University, “and also the only person I pillow fight with is my brother because he’s seven and that’s what seven-year-olds do.”
I think the main stereotype here is that women like to spend time together doing what they’re shown doing in movies, but that’s not the case for everyone. “Heck I like a good romcom with my girls, but I also like superhero movies and Deadpool is more of my babe than any Ashton Kutcher movie.” Gemma continues.
Women are catty and try to compete against one another
Firstly everyone will be catty sometimes, I have seen plenty of men become spiteful, and secondly, what I believe is that all women are my equals, and if we don’t stand together and unite against the patriarchy and sexism, then we will only stay where we are. But as the polls conclude, women are catty, well at least just a little more than half of them are.
“If another woman has better eyebrow game than me on Instagram, I’m going to stalk her, and I’m going to pick out every little thing that’s wrong with the rest of her photos till I feel better about myself. I’m sorry, but it’s just who I am as a person.” Discloses final-year UH student, Katie.
The make excuses to get together to dress up and go out
“Female friendships to me is all about bringing the best out of each other, sometimes we don’t have to go on a crazy night out or an adventure to fulfil our friendships.’ Says UH graduate, Georgie Galvin.
“Sometimes a weekend in with my bestie cuddle up with a pet and movies is all I need, because sometimes the quiet moments mean the most.”
It really just depends on what type of person you are with this stereotype because some girls love going out and others prefer quiet nights in.
They give each other backrubs and do each other’s hair
I’m old enough and ugly enough to do my own hair, thank you very much. I think this stereotype was probably very true back before 2000, but makeup and hair tutorials have skyrocketed since the age of the internet, and now we no longer need our fellow women to guide that metallic or neon look. Amy confesses that she’d “rather stay indoors forever” than let any of her friends touch her hair. Touché Amy, touché.