Yep, they’re at it again. A whole two rooms away in the depths of the night I am once again forced to listen to how well my house mate is performing in bed, thanks to the oscillating hollers from his girlfriend. As you’d expect, it’s not always in the middle of the night either. Try 10.00am when they think no-one’s at home. Loud.
Out of myself and the two guys I live with, he is not the one we thought would be getting it on the regular. It’s about time he caught a break though; I’ll be honest, I can’t work out if I’m more proud of him for defeating the dry spell or more annoyed that he woke me up again.
In our pokey little flat, sound travels incredibly easily through walls and seems to transform every murmur from neighbouring rooms into amplified echoes. Our three bedrooms are directly next to each other in a row, with one house mate and his vocal girlfriend at one end and me at the other. I would say I’m thankful for being at the end as the middle room absorbs most of their moans. However, you guessed it, the middle-room house mate gets some too. His bed is pushed up against the wall we share, so not only do I get to hear all the organic noises, but I get the added treat of the rhythmic squeaks from an ancient single bed too.
Now I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, nor am I concerned on any level about the state of my own sex life, but there is a very fine line between irritating and hilarious when you have to involuntarily listen to your house mates’ down and dirty. For example, when I want an early night and am then rudely awakened at 2.00am, I’m probably going to go into full bitch mode. No-one needs to hear that!
Despite this though, hearing your house mates having sex can be rather entertaining, especially if they’re men (no, not in that way – behave.) There is a certain power gained from knowing who the ultimate lady-lover in bed is, and who is an absolute jack rabbit. Come on; I bet you can name a few. They may be really proud that they’ve managed to get laid, but you really know that it was over before it had really begun.
So next time your ears are penetrated with the sounds of love from next door, don’t be so quick to transition into full rant mode again, as there’s plenty of material there to get your own back. Of course, you could just be extra noisy when it’s your turn to get lucky.