[Robert Wheatley | Lifestyle Editor]
I’ve been in relationships before, namely long-distance ones as my previous article reflects upon, one may suggest that this is the reason why I have chosen to not pursue a relationship.
Perhaps this is the case: if I continued to live with someone whom I loved, I may feel that it was a relationship I would want to stay in forever. But it was a while after the end of my last “relationship” that I started to ponder whether a relationship was something I actually wanted.
That’s not to say I don’t like having the feeling of closeness to a person. I absolutely love it as most people do; that feeling of serenity when you are with someone you really like, and that unique connection to them that does seem to transcend other relationships… but do you need to be in a relationship to experience this?
Not to get too philosophical, but the word “relationship” needs to be defined. There aren’t just monogamous relationships. Polyamory, the desire for more than one partner while ensuring all partners are consenting, is another form of a relationship in which one experiences this desire for more than one person; as is the concept of an open relationship where intimate or romantic relationships with other partners are allowed.
I think we can all relate to this in some manner, whether we’re in or not in a relationship. Although that’s not to say we should allow cheating. I am certain most people have known someone they liked, but also knew someone else they liked as well, or maybe more, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. With polyamorous or open relationships, this is an understood feeling, and that solves the issue as long as everyone is consenting.
Would I say I desire this kind of relationship? I’m honestly not sure, and this is where the desire to stay single comes from. I have experienced the pleasant feeling of being with someone without a label of “love” or “partner” before. Perhaps this type of relationship does suit me, but do I need this relationship status?
At the moment, the idea of being single presents more freedom in which I can do things with others, as well as share feelings with others that I need not put a label on. Of course, this is all done with an understanding between both partners, even if our desires differ.
Having a partner in a monogamous relationship sounds pleasant, and I have had fantastic experiences in relationships of this sort in the past, but I still desired to experience things with other people. Maybe I just don’t like a label? Either way, staying single seems to work for me, but who knows how I’ll feel in the future.