[Maxine Walker-Harris | Contributing Writer]
Seventy years go when our grandparents met and fell in love it was for life… never was cheating an idea on their radar. Nowadays, the idea of cheating is something that has happened to nearly everyone of us. And if it hasn’t happened yet, it sadly probably will at least once in your life; if not a whole bunch.
Unfortunately I’ve experienced two different aspects to the scenario; I have been the one cheated on and I have been “the other woman” (not knowingly at first – and I was not most pleased when I found out.) I have never actually cheated on anyone (unless you count a kiss when I was like fifteen); don’t get me wrong, I admit I have been tempted, but my reasons for not going there are simple.
I firmly believe if you are going to cheat, you must not be very happy in your relationship, and it’s then that you need to sit down and think whether it is actually working anymore.
Monogamy is not a word we use very much today, but if you search the web there are websites that actually promote cheating, specifically designed for the man or woman wanting to cheat; somewhere they can meet others who are in relationships looking for that extramarital affair. I recently went to a garage to get my car fixed and this guy who worked there started trying to chat me up; I told him I wasn’t single, but to my surprise he said: “Neither am I – I’m married but I belong to a lot of websites where I can meet for extra fun.”
I will admit this did make me laugh but also left a bitter taste in my mouth. His fellow workers stood there laughing, but I just said: “Your poor wife,” to which he responded “I know.” How can this be OK? Why get into a relationship if you are not solely there for that person; is it because we are so involved in our careers or studies that we don’t have time for a relationship and the only time we have is for sex, and that is it? Is our sex life a quick fumble wherever we can, and that’s it?
Speaking to friends, it’s sad to find out most have cheated or been cheated on and most agree life has become so fast no-one has the oomph or time to put effort into a relationship. I wonder whether the “excitement” of cheating is just too much; I’m sure a lot of us like the idea of sneaking around and meeting for that steaming hot sex session and then leaving to go back to our ordinary life. People only realise what they are doing is bad when their boyfriend or girlfriend finds out, and then it’s too late. So, do we only count ourselves as cheating when we get caught?
In a modern society, with the world to explore, has monogamy become just too much to expect? Unfortunately, our lives are so fast paced now and times have changed from when our grandparents met. Maybe we all need to slow down a little bit and think about what we have instead of all wanting that little bit more.