The dos and don’ts of dating a flatmate

Image: Unsplash – Nathan Walker

[Mollie Merrifield | Contributing Writer]

Now before I begin, I would like to mention that these simple pieces of advice are not limited to your flatmates. Starting a “friends with benefits” relationship with anyone at university has its setbacks; especially if you are forced to see them every single morning. So don’t be a fool, get ahead of the game and prepare yourself, because this is not a task for the faint-hearted.

#1 DON’T have sex with your flatmate at all, if possible.

Okay, this might sound like the worst piece of advice, and I may sound like captain obvious, but it is the only way that’s 100 per cent proven to prevent any future issues. Why not try branching out a little and try talking to a classmate? By choosing someone with a common interest, you’re not only more likely to be compatible, but also a lot less likely to have to hibernate in your room if things turn sour.

Image: Unsplash - Anthony Delanoix
Image: Unsplash – Anthony Delanoix

#2 DO tell your significant other what your intentions are.

Having sex with the hottie in your flat, telling all your mates, and avoiding them afterwards will not end up well for you. One-night stands are a personal choice and can be a lot of fun. But if you do decide that you want a one-time fling with your housemate, you might want to let them know first. Or you may end up with slashed tires (trust me, this actually happens.)

#3 DON’T just have sex with them because you’re completely out of it.

Alcohol is both the angel and the devil. It allows you to finally pluck up the courage to make a move on the person you’ve thought was hot since the first day of freshers’. However, it also allows for drunken fumbles with that flatmate that seems a strong nine out of ten after six vodkas. Don’t make the drunken mistake when it’s with a flatmate, it just isn’t worth it. Trust me.

Image: Unsplash - Patrick Schöpflin
Image: Unsplash – Patrick Schöpflin

#4 DO let your other housemates know, because chances are they already do.

This isn’t essential for everyone, but in most cases your flatmates will predict your rendezvous before you’re aware of it yourself. Sexual tension is not hard to spot, and sneaking to each other’s rooms isn’t difficult to hear.

#5 DON’T think that because you have shared a flat with them for five months that you know them inside out.

Having any form of sexual relationship with someone often reveals things about their character that were previously hidden. This could be both good and bad. For example, your sweet and innocent friend with benefits may turn out to be an adventurous sex fiend, whilst your loud and outspoken friend may have the conversational skills of a penguin.

Image: Unsplash - Korney Violin
Image: Unsplash – Korney Violin

#6 DO have fun, but remember to keep it down.

The awkward eye contact with your flatmates the next day just isn’t worth it. Whether they are completely cool about it, or they hate the whole notion of casual sex; keeping them up at night with your moans is not going to fare well with anyone, especially if you’re trying to be more discreet about your hook-ups. If you’re not careful, you could end up being the topic of your flat’s group chat, and will forever be haunted with a horrific joint nickname.

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The dos and don’ts of dating a flatmate